


Nonsense

by orphan_account



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Childhood, Drugs, Gen, Intrusive Thoughts, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Religion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 01:32:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6174952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mac can't sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nonsense

The first time he says the words he’s alone in his bed watching the overhead fan oscillate in the dark. He can’t seem to start his prayers because his thoughts veer in every direction, so fast that when he begins to concentrate, the topic’s shifted and bounced 10 times. As Mac grasps for an accessible thread weaving through his consciousness, a sentence glues itself to the roof of its mouth, pestering him like an ulcer. Maybe if he says it, he’ll expel it like a poison.

“The is no God.”

Hearing himself blaspheme physically hurts, and instead of leaving his body, the most dangerous words compel him to continue, taking control of his voice and pulling sound out of him while he fidgets in bed.

“There is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God—“

Mac spits the words, mumbling so fast there’s only a stream of continuous, indistinguishable sounds. He kills the meaning, deadens the shock. God isn’t a word, it’s a nonsense syllable.

By 4:30AM, he’s exhausted himself. The chanting has cramped his jaw, so he moves his tongue as if he were talking. A slight change in light from the early morning breaks his trance. Night is private, but for some reason he thinks God can watch him better in the day, so he clenches his teeth tight. A lull in thought allows him to reflect on his sins, and the only conclusion he can reach is that he’s possessed. He’ll have to go to confession first thing in the morning and ask for an exorcism or something because he can’t do this every night.

***

Confession relieves the anxiety momentarily, but for some reason, his priest won’t agree to exorcise him and also berates him for skipping school. Well, he skipped school because he’d seen The Exorcism and knew how long it took to get a demon out, so the priest is the one at fault here, not him.

Instead of slipping into class at noon, he decides to visit Charlie who more than likely stayed home after Mac had failed to appear on the bus. When he knocks on the door, Ms. Kelly answers, and he feeds her a lie about it being a school holiday.

Charlie’s reclined on his floor with a serene smile on his face, a bottle of cement glue in his hand. Mac taps him with his foot, and he stirs.

“Mac? Am I dreaming?”

“No, you’re not dreaming. You’re just high.”

“Oh,” Charlie pauses then remembers why he’s confused, “Wait, where were you this morning?”

Mac sits down beside him, distracted by how clean Ms. Kelly keeps Charlie’s room despite his friend’s love of filth. He knows Charlie won’t understand his religious dilemma, so he responds with a half-truth, “Uh, I was too tired to go to school. Yeah, couldn’t sleep last night. I don’t know why, so don’t ask.”

“Jeez, man, chill out. Huff some glue. You’ll feel better. I always do,” Charlie hands him the open bottle of cement glue.

Mac takes the bottle and inhales too much, feeling dizzy but good. Relaxed. Sleepy.

After a couple more huffs, he finds himself sliding to the ground with his chin to his chest. A few hazy thoughts swim around his mostly empty head, while the tension drains out of his shoulders. Any worries pass by unrecognized, and if he were fully conscious, he’d call the experience a miracle.


End file.
